I feel totally shitty. I didn't make that list in order or anything! Just because someone's name was last in the list doesn't mean they're the lowest. What I meant about being in the crappy group just like not being in the group with your friends. A lot of my friends were in one group, and I couldn't be in that group, but that doesn't mean the other people in my group are crappy. What am I supposed to say? Sue me. Hate me. I'm sorry. I was effin' mad when I wrote that. I was crying. I was crying so much my nose started bleeding. And that's only happened twice before. But face it, that's how it is. Madeleine would obviously prefer to be in a group with KK and Stina rather than anyone else. Aren't we all wanna-be's? We all want to be popular, have a ton of friends, and be admired. Am I getting the wrong definition? "If I hang out with cool people, I'll be cool too!" Well I'm not exactly a cool people, but I hope I'm not that big of a biotch either. Maybe I am, and no one's told me. Do you want to be the first? Well, actually my sister is the first, so someone has told me. But I don't really care what she thinks anyway. Wow, I really messed up a friendship. Will you ever forgive me? Are you going to kill me? Please don't. I don't know what I can do to make it better. I'll change it. I'll erase your memory. I'll buy you chocolate. I don't think we're going to have anymore group projects in math. See, teachers? This is why I hate group projects! If you say "Work in partners" then we'll want to be a group of three!! Then what? You can't say "Well I want to be with them so go find yourself another partner" Well I think that's what I did. To you. And that's why I'm sorry. I'm a bad girl. You go be with the kid who never finds a partner. That's what I meant about the crappy group. It's not crappy because of the people in it, it's crappy because of the people not in it. It's crappy because you didn't get who you wanted to be in your group. You're not crappy. I'm a crappy friend. It's my fault. You know who I'm mad at? Me. I'm mad at myself. I listen to you. I try. You can't always get your way. You can't never get your way either. And I think that neither of us will get our way if we're still angry at each other. ttyl?
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Ohmigod Em, I totally wanted to be in ur group in the first place. Ur like, my b/f at sjms, almost everyone else are idiots, thank god we're out of there. I can totally share your pain today in fact. We had to get into groups in summer school, and guess what? The only people I know that even talk to me are Melina, Maddalena, Andrea, Tina(Ford), and Ali. Exactly my point. And then they didn't want to be in a group with me; they didn'y even LOOK at me, and I sit next to them. And everyone knows how shy I am around new people, and that's everyone one else in my health class. I'll stop wallowing in my own self-pity long enough to eat my pizza.
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