Open up into In

Title is me not hearing a lyrics correctly to "Memory" from Cats by ALW. It bugs me how everyone thinks it's called "Memories."

Just sitting here, listening to theme songs. To me, theme songs means a song with a very clear message, or that evokes a strong emotion. Not theme songs as in the little ditty before a TV show.

Jenny and I went to the mall today. We were just looking, so we know what there will be when we go shopping after Christmas. There wasn't anything cute except the llama shoes. I love the llama shoes. They are made by Ked's and they are freaking $40, but they are green and have llamas on them and are fuzzy. They also have brown ones with owls and blue ones with seahorses, but those aren't fuzzy. They are just so expensive, you'd think they went down in price after all these months. Plus, it's winter so I don't need flats. And I have a very cute flats collection already. I don't need any more shoes. Marisa would be very jealous if I got them.

Jenny and I ran into Ben and Zac at the mall. They were sitting, taking abreak from Christmas shopping. They are very nice and comical and I wish I knew them better. Theatre/musical theatre kids are so charismatic. I wish I - well, no. I don't wish I were like them. I am glad that I am quiet and introspective. The problem with theatre kids is that they are so constantly around each other and in other people's problems that they never have time to look at themselves and find out who they are or think about what they really want. They are too busy being other characters and dealing with others that how can they find themselves? I guess this is where the saying "in order to find yourself, you have to try to be someone else" but I can't see how that works. I guess it"s because I've never tried it. It's not that I'm content with myself, but I wouldn't give up band and chamber music just for an experiment like that.

So back to Ben and Zac. I wish I knew them better. I wish I were friends with them. It's because they are so charismatic that people are just attracted to them. They think on their feet, they are animated, and they always have something funny to say. They're like Tim only they don't insult you so much. I used to wish I had Ben's email address so I could email him and say, "Hey we don't know each other very well but you're really nice and I wish we were better friends and since we have no classes together just email me back if you want to chat." but it would never work because he'd think, "Whoa, stalker!" and hate me forever.

I can't say I like any boys because I don't know any well enough. Sure, there's Garrett, who's really cute, but I've only talked to him once and it went like this,
Me: I didn't know you wore glasses
Garrett: Yeah, my eyes are screwed up...

Can't you feel the connection?

Listeneing to "What you Own" and thinking about Christina's party. Everything makes sense. "For once the shadows gave way to light" For once I got to talk to all the theatre/musical theatre kids "For once I didn't disengage" For once I held their gaze and flirted shamelessly like a saloon girl.

Jenny and I looked at the pictures on Netta's myspace. That party was so fun.

Have I said too much? I can't think of any more to say. I need to studyt for finals. ttyl!

PS Elphaba is right, as always. Love comes at much too high a cost!