I can't believe a year went by so fast

Quote from Rent "finale A" "December 24th, 10 PM, EST, I can't believe a year went by so fast. Time to see what we have, time to see."

I've had this blog for over a year. It seems like so long. I really grew up this past year. My first entry I'm so obsessed about I'm fat, and now I do the calculations and I wasn't fat last May and I'm not this May. So I spazzed out about nothing. Then I spazzed out about group dynamics and popularity. I have problems with people. But I learned that it's not about who you're working with, as long as you get the work done. It's just that most of the time you can get the work done with people you like and work well like, AKA your friends. Just today all my friends in biology ditched me, so I had to join the musical theatre group for the frog speculation. Not dissection, we didn't cut it up. That's tomorrow. And no one was working. Two people were working on health homework, two people were just talking, and Ben was scaring everyone by putting the frog in their face. I was trying to do the work. Ben helped a lot, because he was the only one focusing, but it wasn't fun.

I keep forgetting Christina hates it when I give her advice. Today I told her the style was to put your belt buckle on the side, not in front, so she called me stupid. I don't understand her. She hates it when I tell her anything, but she gets pissed if I don't explain to her how to do the math homework. Sorry, Christina, you told me you hate it when I tell you how to do things. Maybe you should actually pay attention in math class. It's not like Mr. Duffey is going to sit down and have a one on one tutoring session with you to make sure you learn. Maybe you should look in a math book. I resent it when she says, "Em, no one told me how to do this," and expects me to explain it to her, when I'm busy doing my own work. I don't have KK's gentle touch in reminding people, "I think I was speaking," or, "I'm sorry, I can't help you just now." I don't know what to do. I try to say, "Why are you mad?" and "What can I do?" to fix it, because that usually keeps anyone angry from ranting if you focus them on a question like that. But I don't know. It probably makes them even more angry because I don't know why they're angry at me.

I'm going to stop now. I'm reading Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister by Gregory Maguire. I like the books I've read of his. Even though he scares me sometimes.

ttyl!

Santa Rosa Symphony: Stravinsky and Rachmaninoff

I saw the Santa Rosa Symphony perform today. It was amazing. Especially since I knew so many people in the symphony. Mr. Peabody, Roy, Bonnie, Mr. Michaelsen, Rebecca Roudman, and Allen Biggs. Roy had huge solos and it was really cool to hear him. And Mr. Michaelsen had a solo too. They played Rite of Spring by Stravinsky and Rachmaninoff's Second Symphony. It don't know which one I liked better; they were both fabulous. I wish the English language had stronger adjectives for describing good things. This is why I can't describe it very well. But it was good.

It's probably sold out for tomorrow, so I guess you'll have to wait until next season to hear them perform again. ttyl!

STAR Testing

I'm currently on Mr. Ballou's computer. In geography. We just finished STAR testing and I'm bored. This is really fun. I finished the whole biology section in the first half of the test taking period. Then I finished crotcheting a scarf. It looks really bad. I'm sad because I messed it up. But it's a really pretty purple.

Ok. I have nothing to say. I don't like Mr. Ballou's computer. It doesn't have a mouse. It has one of those little touch pads. It's really annoying.

That's about it. ttyl!

Narcissic Old People and My Battle with Poseidon

I have to name my dreams so I can remember them until I can type them up on my blog, so that's the title of this entry.

I had a dream that my dad and I were driving, and this old couple started ramming their car into ours. Then I got a bunch of emails from them, one of which said that they had planted explosive devices all over our house and were going to blow us up randomly. They would also blow us up if we tried to run away. I cried and asked my mom why anyone would do such a thing, and she replied that some people were narcissic and it was in their nature. So we lived in constant fear for a day. Then I woke up and told my mom I had a bad dream. I went back to sleep and the dream continued. I went to school from 8 to 10. Then I had a lunch break until 2, so I went back home. I was looking for the explosive devices. I found them. They were like straws filled with gun powder. I gathered them up. The old people knew I had found them because they were watching our house. They told us we couldn't let go of the straws and if we did, they would blow us up. They said they wouldn't kill us until after I got back from school. My mom was at work. I suddenly got an idea how to get away. I told my dad to throw all the straws in the fire. They would explode, but we would run out of the house before it could kill us. I pulled my runnning shoes on, grabbed my clarinet, wallet, and iPod, and fled with my dad. I wanted to run to KK's house, but we never made it. We got to this big field with scattered oaks. There was a pregnant woman. She said she was so happy to have her fourth child. I wanted to cry because I knew the old people would be after her next. I think I went to school because the last thing I remember is asking Peabody if I could live in the band room.

I can barely remember my other dream, but it was like I did this dance/fight on a big blue jellylike thing to classical music. A Samurai was chasing me with a bo staff. I had defeated him once before, but it didn't count because I was in my parent's bedroom the first time and no one saw it. So we had to go to this arena with these two judges to watch the fight. Then I would become a Samurai too. I think the blue thing we were standing on was Poseidon. It was like a jellyfish. It was like the diva in 'The Fifth Element". You know, the blue lady with the stones in her? Like that. Weird.

That's about it. STAR testing this week in school. The only question I'm really stumped on is "If sinsquaredX is one third, what is tanX?" Everyone's all, "Sin over Cos is Tan" but I don't know.

Whatever. ttyl!

I think there's one in my raincoat

This song quote is from Simon and Garfunkel's "America".

I had a very odd dream last night. It was pretty long. I was in the car or something. I had an assignment from Madame Baird to make a piece af artwork out of ripped construction paper. I didn't what to make. I finally decided to do the logo of Wicked. You know, Elphie on a broomstick? But then we started driving and I couldn't work while the car was moving. Then I was in this zoo on Mt. Olympus. I think it was on Mt. Olympus because we were all nymphs or something because we could fly. We had to feed the turtles, but they were attacking us. I didn't have my construction papered Elphie, so I was trying to go somewhere to think. We were all roleplaying, by the way. I went in this little room. Somehow I was listening to iTunes. But I was listening to something I'd heard before in a dream. But it wasn't a real soundtrack. That pisses me off when I compose songs in my dreams and can't remember them when I wake up. It sounded like the allargando in Hammersmith in that it was loud and dissonate, but the plot had something to do with Candide. It had about 20 songs that were one and two mintues long. Then the second to last was 6:27 and the last was 9:16. But the last was at the top and I listened to them backwards. I listened for a while and then this girl came in at the second to last song to see if I was okay because I was laying on the floor. I grabbed her ankle to stop her from leaving. I asked her if we could go somewhere quiet to talk because I needed help thining of something to do for the assignment since my project was unfinished and in the car, which was miles away. It might have been Allie, but since I didn't know her character, I had to be all polite because she was older and higher ranked. We tried a lot of doors to find a quiet place to talk, even though I had looked in on all of them on my way from feeding the turtles to listening to music in that little room. One had a plant in the window, but someone was talking on the phone. Then we tried this one door and it was like a hotel lobby. It had a staircase in the back where the rooms were. Ben was like a bellboy or something. He had on a blue jumpsuit. We asked Ben what he was doing. He said he was trapped here because he had stayed too long. He told us to get out before we were trapped by the concierge too. Somehow all three of us managed to get out, but we lost our ability to fly. Then Allie left. Then somehow the building we were in dissolved into school and we were near my locker. Linda was at her locker, which was right below mine. Ben wanted to go say hi to Linda, so we linked arms and walked over. Remember we were roleplaying, and my character had a huge crush on Ben, so I tried to get a dreamy look on my face and clutched his arm a bit too tight. He had really thin arms, but they were all muscle. Then we were talking to Linda and Ben started paying more attention to her than to me, so I was sad. But then Linda turned around and it actually wasn't her. I was really embarrassed because I was being really friendly and I actually didn't know her. Then I was all, "Oh great now Ben's going to think I'm stupid because I can't even tell between my friends and complete strangers. He'll never like my character now." But it didn't matter because I woke up.

Why can't I ever link arms with Anthony Rapp in my dreams? Oh well. Ben's cool. But I don't like him like I do Anthony Rapp. Besides, he's got a girlfriend. He's fun to talk to, but even though we sit next to each other in bio, he's got all his musical theatre friends to talk to. The only time I can talk to him is before PE.

Ever since I read Anthony Rapp's book "Without You", I've been composing emails to him in my mind. I don't know. I feel like I know him since I've read his book, and I love his voice in Rent, and it seems like all his fame hasn't gone to his head, but all I know is how he's portrayed himself in his book. And of course his book is going to biased slightly because he's not going to show himself in a bad light unless he felt that way. Did that even make sense? I don't know. And his fansite is down for maintainence, so even if it had his email address on it, I wouldn't be able to ever email me. And I doubt I would ever have the courage to, since whatever I sent wouldn't be good enough for him to read and them I'd regret it. And I have nothing important to say to him. Anything I did say would probably just scare him.

Not like anything I say is actually important. ttyl

Where's that confounded bridge?

I've decided that if I can't think of what to title an entry, I'm going to make it a random song quote. This one is from Led Zeppelin's "The Crunge". It's a good song. Very good.

I had a bad dream in which I was a ghost (that wasn't the bad part) which was good because I could be intangible, invisible, and change my appearance. Unfortunately, I couldn't control any of these powers. There was this little house, in which lived two Latino people, a boy of about twenty, and his grandmother, who was like, seventy. Amazingly, even with just one year of Spanish, he and I could have a conversation. Unfortunately again, I was wearing a dress, which somehow couldn't be pulled down past my knees, so that was really awkward because I don't like short dresses. So then I left their house. There was a field next door. It was covered in some kind of flammable stuff, so if anyone had anything electrical on, or lit a match or fired a gun, the whole field would catch on fire and blow up. There was a small troop of guerilla soldiers (I think they were African) who were victims of genocide. I was in the field. I tried to warn them that they couldn't fire any guns or light any matches because they would all blow up, but I was invisible and couldn't talk to them. Then they fired a gun and blew up. I was unharmed because I was intangible (and no longer in a dress but jeans), but I was so devastated. I just wanted to tell the government to close off the field so no one else would get hurt. The cottage was unharmed through all of this. Then a bigger army came, the enemy of the dead soldiers. I lit a match because it was dark, but it didn't affect the field because it was a ghost match like me. These soldiers had torches. They lit the field on fire and blew up. I don't know why the flammable stuff on the field didn't burn up, but it was still there. At this point I just wanted to get home (which was to a house we were renting because we were on vacation even though I was a ghost and actually time traveling) and go to sleep. But my troubles weren't over. The UN came to investigate all the deaths. I ran as fast as I could to tell them to stop, but I couldn't run up the slope to get to the road where they were. They fired a shot and blew up too. By this time, I think dawn was breaking. I was really tired, because my dream began at about four in the afternoon. All the carnage I had witnessed hard to block out, and I knew that sleep was the only respite from seeing the images flash in my mind over and over. I slowly trudged back the half mile to the house, I think accompanied by my mom and some other family members, and climbed the staircases (literally because there were no floors in the house except a ground floor and a loft with the bedrooms and bathrooms three stories up and the staircases didn't connect so you had to climb over the railing to get to another one) and was almost at the top when I woke up.

That was a bad dream. But no more dwelling on it. The next day, I decided that if I could travel back in time and do three things, I would firstly have an interview with Albert Einstein, secondly meet Jonathon Larson and tell him what a big impact he has made on so many people, and thirdly go to Illinois the night Anthony Rapp's mom died and comfort Anthony. So as I was about to go to sleep, I was deciding exactly how I would comfort Anthony. I won't go into all the mushy details because I don't think anyone would appreciate that, and as much as Cameron thinks people love it when stranger give them shoulder massages, Anthony would most likely want to kill me for interrupting his period of grief than instantly falling in love with me and my exceptional yet untrained voice. Well, it's nice to dream.

Speaking of dreams, I had a dream about Anthony Rapp that very same night! I was in a botanical garden I had been to before in a dream, but we started at the end of the trail and were walking back. My mom and dad and I. There was another family with a bunch of little annoying kids too. There was a river, and a little cement pathway beside the river. The path had stairs like it was a bridge. I walked on the stepping stones in the river. It was only a few inches deep. Then we got to the car and were driving home. The dream mercifully skipped all the walking. We were driving through a forest over a hill. At the top of the hill was the Civic Center, except it wasn't. It was a theatre. The Rent 10 year Anniversary was in there. It was intermission. Anthony Rapp was outside, taking a break. I yelled at my dad to stop the car so I could meet Anthony Rapp, but he didn't because there was no parking. I told him to pull over at the side of the road, but he said we were too late and we had already passed it. I said I would run back, but he didn't stop. I was so frustrated. I wanted to scream and jump out of the car and talk to Anthony Rapp. The car passed him, and I was like three meters away from him. Close enough to see the expression on his face. His head was tilted slightly, and he was confused as his gaze followed the car. It was as if he was asking himself, "Did they really dislike the show so much that they're leaving at intermission?" And I wanted to cry "No! I love you! I love the show! We didn't see it! I didn't know!" But it was too late and we went down the hill and he was quickly out of sight.

I also had a dream last night. I'll try to make it quick. I was at Hogwarts. KK and Tasha and some other people were there too. Except in order to get to the library, you had to cross a beach on these enchanted boats. The way to cross was to step in a clear plastic bag, get on a tall white washed wooden platform, and if you weren't quick enough getting in the bag, it would start without you. Then the platform was like a boat, and the bag was so you didn't get wet because the waves got you wet, and the tide changed every twenty minutes. So we were in the library, but Malfoy and his gang were stalking us. They had an invisibility cloak. We were in a private room to do our research, and I was the lookout. KK showed me three spells to prtect us from Malfoy: expelliarnus, burmeas, and sectumsempra. It wasn't actaully sectumsempra, but it was a silent charm and one to inflict pain, but not as much as sectumsempra. Then I saw the library door open and no one come in, so I knew Malfoy had come in under and invisibility cloak. I said sectumsempra in my head, but I forgot to wave my wand until it was too late and the spell didn't work. Then I yelled burmeas, and their invisibility cloak flew off. Then they knew they couldn't surprise us, so they gave up. Then time passed and it was time to go, but the tide was high, and I had to go in the boat alnoe, which is worse than with someone and I had never been in a boat by myself, and I got wet because I couldn't get my feet in a bag to keep them dry. Then I woke up.

I want to start recording what song I have stuck in my head when I wake up. It would be interesting, but I don't know if I would remember to. Oh well. ttyl!