Don't trot like a smurf!

I feel terrible right now. Not only because I have a stomach ache and I'm really tired, but because now Stina's mad at me because I'm not up to going to the fair with her today. I'm sorry, Stina, but being in the sun all day isn't going to make me feel better, and if I came, I wouldn't be much fun anyway.

If you're wondering about the title of this entry, it was something Mr. Eckl said today. I really regret going to camp today because I'm hella tired now and he makes us march around on the field, which is torture. He was practicing a new maneuvere with the drummers to go to the front of the band and play a drum solo thing. Some of the people ran to the front so he yelled that and it was funny. I'm going to stop now because I need to sleep. ttyl

Marching band

I'm in a marching band for the Fourth of July Parade, I don't want to know how dorky you think that is. There are only two other clarinets. For some reason, Mr. Eckl put me as second clarinet. I can tell you I'm way better than the other two. Even though I'm second clarinet, I play the first part. Mr. Eckl doesn't do the balance thing like Ms. Zigas. The girl that plays second sucks because she gets lost really quickly and has to write the names of the notes below the staff. The guy who's first sucks because he takes everything up an octave (which is okay), but he plays each note really short and accented. It sounds as if I were the only one in the band that can play more than a measure without breathing. Plus neither of them have a very good tone. The girl has a good-ish tone because low notes always sound nice and woody. All the saxophones play like they're in jazz band and I can't hear myself over the drums. Cameron and I are the only ones from San Jose, and likely the only ones not from Sinaloa. I have to go now. ttyl!

A short story

A small girl of six or seven sits in a rocking chair on her front porch. In her hands, there is a collection of Halloween stickers. Looking them over, she absently rocks back and forth in the wooden chair. How she wishes to use some of the stickers! But she knows she can't; the stickers belong to her older sister. Temptation prods her again; her sister never uses them, why can't she have them? She ponders this as she scans a page full of the stereotypical figures that are used to represent Halloween: the black cat with its back arched, the witch on a broom-stick, Jack-o-lanterns with scary faces, white ghosts flying among dead trees that shout "Boo!", skeletons, and various words in a creepy font where the letters look like they're dripping, such as "Spooky" or "Haunted House". The girl knows that if she asked her sister if she could have the stickers, her sister would snatch them away with a "No! You can't have them. Why, did you take some already?" The younger girl would shake her head, "No, I didn't take any." Which would be a lie, but her sister wouldn't notice. "Why won't you let me have any? You never look at them or anything!" Here she would slip into tantrum mode; and tears would spring to her eyes. The girl knows her sister would stick her tongue out at her and stalk off with a, "Because they're mine!"

The girl is never content with this answer, not even in her made-up scenario with her asking her sister for the stickers. Her sister never cared for the stickers, she got them at some Halloween party or another, and then showed them to her mom. Then the small girl's sister forgot about them, and left them on the kitchen table. Their mom, while tidying up, came across them and put them in their "Halloween box". This "Halloween box" is full of decorations and things the children have made in school that pertain to Halloween. The next Halloween is when the small girl finds them again. The stickers are more the box's than her sister's. What makes her sister care about the stickers only when they are coveted by someone else? The little girl, with her active imagination, tries to think about various reasons why her sister wants the stickers. Are they a secret treasure map? Written in invisible ink? She turns the stickers over, no, the other side has little logos of "Mrs. Grossman's" on them. No map or code. She seems to think she would be able to see invisible ink.

The little girl floats back down to Earth in her thoughts, and thinks if maybe this has something to do with human nature. She remembers a quote from a book she recently read, though she isn't quite sure what it means. "The reason why we don't throw things away is because we are afraid others might pick them up." She certainly didn't think that giving the stickers to her was throwing them away, but still, the quote came to mind. Oh, if she could only solve this mystery like those girls in her books, she'd have so much fun with the stickers! Her sister never had fun with them, she never paid them any attention.

All of a sudden it clicks in her mind. The reason why her sister won't give them to her is because she's afraid that she'll have fun with them! This statement she could back up with a few reasons. It's her sister's nature to not want the girl to have fun. She supposes all older sisters were like that. And, if her sister gave her the stickers, the girl would have fun, and her sister would see how her younger sister had fun with them, and want them back so she could have fun with them too. The small girl grins to herself, that didn't quite make sense. She still has difficulty putting her thoughts in words; she had, after all, just learned about words only a few years ago.

The small girl gets up and put the stickers back in the box. She knows she would never have them. By the time her sister is willing to give them up, she would no longer care for them either. Just then, her mom comes out of the house, locking the door as she goes. They are going shopping. "Mom, can I get some stickers?" the girl asks.
"No dear, look at all those in the box."
"But those are my sister's. I wan my own."
"Well, your sister can share them."
The girl already knows this is false, she has a good ten minutes of thoughts to back it up. But she doesn't pursue the subject any further. She hops into the car, her mind already on other things.

Well, it's not exactly a true story, I never thought about arguing with "They're mine", but I don't think all this insight would have helped me back then anyway. ttyl!

Bad dream

I had the worst dream last night, I woke up crying. In my dream, some things were different as they are now. In the movie The Incredibles, Jack-Jack had a disease called AIDS, but it wasn't like AIDS at all because he was born with it and it's very contagious, but you can't die from it unless you don't take your medicine for it enough. The medicine doesn't cure it, but it reduces symptoms and keeps you from dying. You can get it if someone that has it coughs on you or something as casual as that. Since Jack-Jack had it, it wasn't a bad thing to get it as long as you took the right brand of medication, called Melonex. That's the kind he took in the movie. Also, some people don't get AIDS if they are exposed to it, but they get serious side effects which you will see later. Only kids can get the disease. So only people that have just gotten AIDS can spread it. If you've taken medication enough, then it reduces the chance of spreading it to others. Same with spreading side effects.

In my dream, it was still school and we were in the middle of an assembly. I was in the very back row, and not really paying attention even though Stina was in it. Then I started feeling really dizzy and tired. I guess Stina saw me faint or something, because she ran down from the stage and helped me up, and then we went to the office. I had AIDS, but I wasn't too worried. Stina said she didn't mind helping me because she always wanted white hair, and that was one of the side-effects she was getting. The other one was that her vision wasn't as good as it was. I guess the nurse revived me or something, and then it was the next day and Stina and Gram were with me and we were buying medication for me, but I don't think we ever bought it, we just bought a little information booklet about it.

Then my sister and me were outside raking leaves, and she was blind because she was exposed to me before I took my medication. I was yelling her directions because she was about to walk into a bench while she was walking down the driveway to put a bag of leaves in the trash can. I felt really bad for her.

Then we were back inside and I was walking down the hallway into the living room. Then Mom and Dad came home and they knew Jenny was blind and they had just gotten back from a picnic, so I took a bunch of leftover food in to the living room for Jenny and me to eat. Jenny was sitting on the couch and I said "Hey," but she said, "Shh, shh, don't tell me... It's Spem." And I was like, "Yeah it's me." I really wanted to watch TV, but I thought Jenny would feel bad because she could only hear it and not see it. Jen started talking to me, and she said, "Hey Emily, you know the lace border I have around my room? I was thinking putting a different design over it. What do you think?" Here I think to myself, Wow, either I haven't noticed the new decorations, or Jenny's been imaging things about her room since she can't see it anymore. Is everything black for her, or is it just extremely blurry? So I say, "I haven't been in your room in a long time, Jen. I haven't seen it." Then I start crying, and I ask her if she misses seeing things like the backyard and the gazebo because they're so pretty and then I woke up because my mom's alarm clock went off. I was relieved she was awake so I could cry on her.

God knows how horrible this dream was. All of my worst nightmares involve me directly or indirectly in this case harming my sister. This disease is impossible and I know my sister will never go blind, and Stina won't get white hair until she's really old. ttyl!

What's wrong with me?

Why can't I trust my dad? He's never done anything but love me. My mind's been polluted by Chicken Soup stories about girls who've been sexually abused by their dads and step-dads. By my dad's not like that. I don't even want to delve into the subject, because right now I'm on the verge of tears and if I do then I'm going to cry for sure. ttyl

Freaky bike ride

OMG, I just had the freakiest bike ride ever! Jenny, Mom, and I went biking down Fairway, and I wanted to go up some of the side-streets. I went up Carnoustie to deliver CD's to Smurd and KK. Jenny and Mom came with me up Caddy Court but they didn't go down Wentworth Lane, they just turned around and went back down Caddy. So then I went up Capilano and Prestwick. It was fun. Those are my favorites. So I was cruising down Fairway, going up the little streets Thornhill and stuff, and then I see Jenny, Mom, Greg, his mom, and some old lady. I stop and say hi and I really didn't know that Greg had a dog. My legs were really shaky and stiff, like they expanded or something. I wanted to walk it off and then keep biking. But we had to chat and then some Mormons came and we left. Greg's mom was really rude to them. I wonder how KK's mom deals with them, since the Jehovah's Witnesses come to her house. Anyway, then we went to the end, and I went up St. Andrew's. I walked my bike up a lot of it. Very tiring. But it's so much fun to go down! When you let up on the break, it's like if you go over a bump in the road, you'll just take off flying. That's how Wentworth is too. And believe me, there are plenty of bumps on Wentworth. So then I go to catch up with Jenny and Mom, because they said they'd keep going on Fairway slowly. I get to about Wentworth, and I'm getting kind of worried, because I'm going over twenty miles an hour and I haven't seen them yet. And then there's this guy in the road and he's facing my direction and then we gets in this big red van. I stay behind him. Then he drives and pulls over again and sticks his hand out of the window, likes he's signaling or something. He's like waving and pointing to the ground and whatever, and I'm freaking out because I didn't know if he was signaling to me or to the workers across the street, and I didn't know what he was trying to say. I memorized his liscense plate, it's 5IOU802 incase you see it. I'm pretty sure it's an I, it might've been a J, but the liscense plate holder was in the way. So I pass him while he's pulled over, and then he passes me again too. I'm getting really scared, and I'm thinking to myself, "Ok, if he pulls over again, he might be trying to kidnap me. Can I hold him off until I get to Christina's, or should I try to go up Carnoustie to Madeleine's?" Luckily, he doesn't pull over, he just keeps going.

Now I'm relieved he's gone, but I'm really nervous about Jenny and Mom. Initially I thought the red van guy had kidnapped them and they were in his van. It seemed unlikely since I didn't spot anyone in the van but him. I continue all the way to the mailbox, swearing to myself because I haven't seen Jenny and Mom. So I'm at the mailbox, and I'm wondering what to do. Did they go to Safeway? Are they at home? Did I pass them and didn't see them? Were they really kidnapped? So I take a swig of water and turn around to go back up Fairway and ask Greg and his Mom if they had seen them while they were on a walk. Then I see Jenny and Mom coming down from Fairway and I yell, "Where the heck have you been?" I make a U and pull up beside Mom, and she explains that they were up at Piping Rock Road looking at something and they saw me go by and yelled but I didn't see them. I was happy I found them, mad that they didn't keep their word when they said they'd be on Fairway, and confused why they went up Piping Rock. Or it might've been Thornhill. One of those streets where there are no houses, just garages. So now I'm worried because Mom went to Safeway and it's been almost a half hour since we got back and she still isn't back. I'm really hungry, though. ttyl!

Bike update

Today I biked about 8 miles. I met Madeleine at the mailbox and we went to the end of Fairway, and we also went up some of the side roads. It was fun. Then we went back to Madeleine's house and hung out. Then I became restless and wanted to go biking some more. I knew Madeleine wouldn't go for it, and it was about time I headed home anyway. I know I should've called to say I was at Smurd's when I got there, but I didn't. It doesn't matter anyway. So after I left Smurd's, I went biking some more. Then I went home, took a shower, and then my sister wanted to go jogging with me at IVC. So we did that and then some sit-ups and here I am now. So now my bike total is 26. ttyl!

Food

As you can see, I've added some links to my site. They're all about food and stuff. I'm going to start a log of everything I eat and keep track of portion sizes and stuff. And now I see that it is possible to be a vegetarian without being anemic if you eat enough servings of nuts, beans, and dairy/soy products. I started the log because I'd always forget what I ate during the day, so I didn't know if I had enough of everything. So now after every meal, I'm going to put tally marks under the servings I've eaten and record what I ate. It is a lot of work, but I think it'll be worth it. I wanted to use a day planner for my record book, but we didn't have one, so I'm just using a book with lined paper in it. I didn't go biking yet today, I don't know if I'm going to. I'm going to try to finish Green Rider today. My dad wants to use the computer. ttyl!

Bikes and clothes

I'm going to bike all summer and see how many miles I can score. Two days ago I biked to the end of Fairway and back with Christina, which is about 5 miles. Today I biked/walked our bikes with Kati a total of 13 miles. We went to IVC, then we biked around there, and then we went on some fire roads there. Then we came back and went to Fairway, but when we got to the end of the road, we continued on a trail all the way to this waterfall. We had to walk our bikes on the dirt trail. It was really fun. Then we came home and I was too tired to bike around Loma Verde, but 13 miles is enough so I'm not feeling guilty. Yesterday I cleaned out all my clothes that didn't fit and now I have like nothing to wear. Let's see... I have about ten sweatshirts, five over-sized shirts, four camis, at least seven beaters, one short-sleeved over-shirt, over ten T-shirts, two jackets with zippers, one long-sleeved over-shirt, four long-sleeved shirts, one long skirt, one pair of capris, two pairs of pants, two pairs of dress pants, one short skirt, two pairs of pajama pants, two bathing suits, no sweaters, two pairs of flip-flops, three pairs of tennis shoes, one pair of dressy shoes, and one pair of shorts. And everything else that's in the wash and not in my drawers. I'd prefer to not list my underwear and that stuff. :) As you can see, I am a bit short in the pants department. I have no blue jeans. I have a pair of pants that are blackish-grayish jean material, but no blue. And my other pair of pants are baggy black cargo pants. So I went online to pacsun.com and put in my shopping cart over $600 worth of clothes. I seriously doubt my mom will buy all of it, so I'm cutting down on things I don't need. Which isn't much. I've got about twenty items in my cart. PacSun is hella expensive. I want to get three camis, five pairs of pants, one pair of capris, two pairs of shorts, two pairs of boardshorts, two T-shirts, three over-shirts, one jacket with a zipper, and one bathing suit. FYI, an over-shirt is a light fabric shirt that you wear over another shirt. Like a band-geek shirt. Well, maybe you don't know what that is. Whatever. So that's what I want to get. I think it's pretty reasonable. I'm not getting too much of anything. Maybe I don't need more T-shirts, or three more over-shirts. But they're really cute and stuff! I want them. I doubt Mom will go for it, but hey, my Grandma was here for graduation, so she gave out a lot of money. For now, though, everyone's focusing on my sister (as usual) because she's going to college next year, as you know. Two and a half more months. For graduation, my sister got $1200. I got $150. Woo hoo for me. It sucks being the youngest grandchild out of four. Just because I'm youngest doesn't mean I have nothing to spend money on. Hell, I'm the only one still growing! I'm the one that still grows out of clothes and needs to get new ones! Sure, $150 is a ton of money, but I won't be able to buy everything I want. I won't be able to buy much with that. And I like PacSun and I like shopping online, so I don't want to go anywhere else to find cheaper clothes. PacSun is my style and their pants actually fit my body. I went to American Eagle a few months ago, and I had to get a size 5 to fit my thighs, but a size 1 would fit my height. My mom better come through for me and buy some stuff for me. We have a deal that she supplies food and necessary clothes, and I buy toys and room decor and excess clothing. But I have no excess clothing. I have to go eat lunch; I'm starving. ttyl!

It's Oreo!!!!!!!!!!! 

Houdini

This is my husband, Houdini. He's Christina's cat and he's very very very fat. I wrote a comparative essay about him and Oreo. It describes him very well. Here it is:

Houdini and Oreo are two lovable, adorable cats who, despite their differences, are both capable of very mindless acts. They are both very fat, though Houdini is forever larger. Oreo has the amazing ability to make himself very long, allowing himself to be worn as a scarf. Houdini can be dainty but still be very heavy. Oreo is very curious and more playful than the brooding Houdini. Houdini is less outgoing than Oreo, and prefers hiding in small places to being out in the open. Their facial features are very different, but they can still pull off the endearing “curious cat” look. They have diverse ways of spending their time. Houdini and Oreo are very different, both physically and personality-wise.

Houdini and Oreo are, of course, both cats and therefore share some physical traits, though they still have many bodily differences. Houdini is so fat that he is hard to pick up. Oreo’s black and white coat is smooth, and consists of long hair; while Houdini’s orange hair is coarse and shorter. Houdini’s favorite position is curled up in a ball while Oreo likes to vary in shape depending on his container. He will curl up into a picnic basket or spread himself out across the bed based on his mood. Houdini is a Somali, and his coloring is a cross between fawn and sorrel. Oreo looks more like a Rag doll, collapsing easily in one’s arms. He is black and white with a very long tail. Houdini and Oreo look very different and have different body structures.

Houdini and Oreo also have very different personalities; Oreo is outgoing and Houdini just wants to be left alone. Oreo is always a willing candidate for a belly rub or a scratch under the chin. He enjoys attention so much that one time, while he was being massaged, he rolled over and fell off the scratching post. When Oreo counts his blessings, the yarn ball, tootsie pop wrappers, paper, string, and feathers are all first on his list. He was much more enthusiastic about the catnip than Houdini, ripping out mouthfuls of it at a time. He is also much more photogenic than Houdini, because Houdini usually runs away if someone gets too close to him. Oreo is very inquisitive; he seemed genuinely interested when he discovered bubbles for the first time. He even smelled the camera when it invaded his personal space. Oreo and Houdini both enjoy being hand fed little dry cat food morsels. Bubbles popping on one’s nose can be an unpleasant experience, as Houdini and Oreo both learned. They will therefore run away to avoid this situation. Houdini will only allow himself to be stroked if he is already lying down, caught unawares, or being held firmly. He likes his head scratched more than his flabby stomach. He enjoys his jawbone being scratched and his forehead rubbed, as does Oreo. Houdini wasn’t very interested in the catnip, but he did enjoy sniffing it in small quantities. Houdini likes milk-treading on Christina’s silk shirts, the carpet, and unsuspecting sleepers. When Houdini is not hiding in a corner or behind the couch, he enjoys stepping on people and meowing very loudly. Houdini seems smarter than Oreo because Oreo gets into trouble more often. Houdini and Oreo both enjoy basic cat activities, but they are still very different cats.

If one looked closely enough, one would notice many characteristics about cats’ faces, such as Oreo’s hidden cleverness and Houdini’s introversion. Oreo has light green, intelligent eyes that look out of place with the scrawny whiskers and ear-hair that dominate his appearance. His pink nose has a lot of character; it adds a small touch to complete that rough explorer-look that characterizes his face. An inquiring nose sets out first to sniff an object, and then those intelligent eyes identify it. Oreo’s rustic fur that just can’t look neat gives him a sleek informality in spite of its messy appearance. Houdini had a very wild look when he was a kitten, but he has shed his kit-hood coat. Nowadays, his medium-long hair concisely frames his face and neck. His eyes and slightly flaring nose give him an intimidating stare, and his ears needn’t be back in order for him to look perturbed. He has much dignity and looks at one disdainfully most of the time. It seems like the only thing that isn’t daunting about Houdini’s face is his tiny pink chin. His cute little chin looks fragile because it is covered only in stubble. His forehead is wrinkled and if his ears are straight, he looks very inquisitive. Houdini’s eyes are a golden honey color and are very expressive. They can be curious as well as cold, loving along with loathing. They are lined with creamy white fur, as if Houdini were wearing eyeliner. A cats’ face is expressive and no two are the same even if the emotions shown are alike.

All in all, Oreo and Houdini are both fat, fuzzy creatures with their own nuances. They both have very expressive faces and have their own quirks. Houdini is a sullen cat that would rather be left alone. Oreo is curious and sometimes gets himself into a tight predicament. They both enjoy weaving themselves through picture frames, heaps of clothing, and Christina’s porcelain figure collection. Oreo’s long hair is black and white as opposed to Houdini’s light orange fur that is medium in length. Oreo’s motto would be, “I’m a little cat just walking down the street, gonna cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.” Houdini’s would be, “Maybe if I shut my eyes, they won’t see me either.” These two cats are half brothers on their father’s side. Houdini and Oreo are cats to admire for their similarities and differences.

Do you like it? I do. Well, that basically sums up Oreo and Houdini. I'll include a picture of Oreo in my next entry. ttyl!

Meet Atti-Cat

This is Atti, my neighbor's cat. I cat-sit for them when they go on vacation. Atti used to be able to go outside, but he was run over and his leg was ruined. My neighbor's spent a lot of money patching his leg up. So now he has a little enclosed area accessible through a cat-door so he can still be outside, but not get in any trouble. He also likes going through the garage to the attic, and sit over a big light, where it's warm. His long name is Atticus, from "To Kill a Mockingbird".

Meet Amber

This is my cat, Amber. We suspect she was abandoned, but anyway we found her during my birthday party, she was snooping around in my backyard. Then a few days later she took up residence in my neighbor's driveway, who were on vacation at the time. Then she moved into the gazebo in my backyard and stayed there for about two months. It was very rainy, and she spent a lot of time at our back door, meowing to be let in. We would've kept her and let her inside, but my dad's allergic. She had some separation anxiety problems, because when she thought I was leaving the gazebo, she would jump up on a chair and swat at me as I walked by. But she's very cute and warms up to others quickly. We also had problems with other outdoor cats trying to steal her food. So we surrendered her to the Marin Humane Society. I miss her so much! But I know she's happier there because she can be inside, and be warm and be loved. I don't know if she's been adopted yet, my mom has to call and get an update on that. I love you, Amberfang!

My dream and the rest of my day

I'll start at the beginning of my day. Well, I'll start with the night before today. I had another dream. It's really long, and I don't remember parts of it, but I'll recount it for you. So I was in band class, and Ms. Zigas assigned us a week-long assignment. We went to the library to pick out a book that was an adventure story. I checked out "Schaharazade" (or however you spell it) by Anne McCaffrey. This is kind of weird, because Schaharazade is a folk story and Anne McCaffrey writes science fiction. And it's really weird, because the story was actually "Crystal Singer", the book I finished yesterday by Anne McCaffrey. I reccomend all books by Anne McCaffrey to you, just make sure you're not starting in the middle of a series. The assignment was to read the book and write a short play about it. So I was reading it, and it was like 300 pages, and it took me most of the week to finish it, and I really liked the book and read it all the time. So it was almost the weekend, and the assignment was due the next Monday. I was watching TV in my dream and was watching Jimmy Neutron. In the episode, Jimmy, Sheen, and Carl were stuck on this bridge and Sheen fell off, but climbed back on. Carl fell off, too, but he landed on this island that had a theme park on it. I remember the theme park from another few dreams because once I worked there, and twice we went on this big ride and it broke when we were on it. Keep in mind that my locations of dreams are used again and again. It was weird, but I remember Carl falling made me sick, because it was like he bungee jumped off, so the swinging made my stomach churn. The next day,I had to go to San Francisco. And I had to cross the Golden Gate Bridge. So the Jimmy Neutron thing happened to me, and I was in Carl's position, except I didn't make it to the island because I wasn't swinging hard enough. (Wow, I'm dislexic, I just said "Third Summerhood of the Sisterpants" instead "Third Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants") Anyway, I finally got across the bridge, and I started reading my book. My mom was there, and she was getting ready to go to work. But then Ms. Zigas came, and my mom got mad at her for not giving me enough time to do the assignment because it was almost due and I wasn't even finished with the book. Ms. Zigas said it wasn't her fault that I picked a super long book, but I said that she never gave me a minimum or maximum of page numbers. I didn't really care, because I new that I would have time over the weekend to do it. So Ms. Zigas leaves, and so does my mom, and I walk across the street to the library. It's a college library, and there's this little sixth grader, and she asks me for help finding the fiction section. We're walking down the aisles, and from a room, we hear a guy singing a part of Phantom of the Opera, the part when Christine is just singing and Erik's all, "Sing, my angel of music" and stuff. And then the girl I was helping put her hands over her ears, and said, "I hate it when people vibrate their vocal chords." Or something really weird. And I was like, "You don't like singing?" and then we were both singing that part the guy sang and I was like, 'You saw Phantom of the Opera?" and she nodded, and I was happy, because I love POTO too. And I couldn't find the fiction section for her, so I went on the computer to look up POTO, and I guess she just went off somewhere. But when I got to the library site, I couldn't find the link to go to the search page where you can search for books and things. Then Heidi came and sat down at the computer next to me. She couldn't find it either. Then I found it, but the link wasn't even on Heidi's computer, so I was trying to copy the URL into her browser, but we kept messing up because I'd say "H-T-M-L-S" and she'd be like, "hitmuls" and she'd spell it wrong because she spelled her made-up word wrong instead of hearing me spell it for her. So then she left too, and this guy started chatting with me online. And he'd ask me a question, and I'd say like, "I don't want to answer that, it's personal and I don't know you," but then he'd either ask another question in which I'd answer the first one too, or say like, "Yeah, you do." or "I already know" and then I'd be like, "Oh you know that my name is Emily?" and then he'd be like, "Oh, it is?" and he said he was a student at the college because he was in the library too, and I think his name was Ben, but it wasn't his real name, I just thought it was, because he was like, "My name is Ben? Ok, let's go with that." So I was like, #$@! this guy knows a lot about me and he's here and I'm all alone. So I leave the library, and he's following me, and he catches up and we start talking about art because that's his major I guess. And then he's like, "Hey I'll take you to my dorm room and I can show you some of the work I've done" and I'm freaking out, this guy is trying to kidnap me, nevermind I've taken countless self-defense classes, this is a dream, so I run across the street, and I hear this clock tower chime. The sun is setting, and the clock tower strikes ten pm. I'm all, "#$@! it's curfew, if I'm found alone on the streets at night I'm going to get arrested." And then I recognize the street as the street Nina works at from a previous dream in which I stay with her for a few days. So I'm running, and I pass by this corner shop that's really expensive from two other dreams where one I'm in the city, and two, my dad and I go back to his old office in some Japanese building and part of the dream took place in that shop. It's a great dream, but let's focus on this one. So I see the shop and contemplate whether or not I should run in and hide behind one of the displays because that Ben guy is chasing me, but I don't go in because I see Nina running home. I catch up to Nina and ask her if I can stay with her the night. She nods and we start sprinting, but then we miss the doorway to her house. It's weird, but I purposefully missed it because it was dark and I was afraid I might trip, or Ben would see where I went. But Nina realizes we passed it and we back track. We only passed it by a meter or two. It's really easy to miss because the two buildings on either side have doors and windows, but the entrance to her house is just a black hallway with a black door. So we step up the step and Nina grabs a basket of laundry before going inside, we take our shoes off and Nina sets the basket down. Nina lives in an Italian restaurant. You go in and there's a foyer, and on the right there's the bar and restaurant. On the left, there's the kitchen, and if you go past that, there's a small dining room and if you turn right, there's a family room and bathroom, which are also acessible from the foyer if you go straight. The left part of the building is the house part, where Nina gets free room and board for being a waitress in the restaurant, and two elderly Italian ladies who own the restaurant. It's not the main entrance to the restaurant. So the old ladies come up to me, and since they're babushkas (or however you spell it), they're all huggy kissy, which is just fine with me right then, because I desparately need a hug after the truamatic events that have occured. I start crying, and the babushka I'm hugging picks me up and I guess I passed out in my dream because I vaguely remember my sister picking me up and us driving home. Now the dream skips, and it's late morning, the next day. I'm playing with my new kitten in my room. He doesn't have a name yet, but he's all black with white paws and some white on his nose. I'm very nervous because I want him to like me, because the last relationship I had with a cat turned awful, and that was Houdini in my dream. So I'm not picking him up too much so he won't get annoyed. I put him on a leash and I let him explore the rest of the house, because he hasn't seen it yet and no one else is home. He really likes my sister's bed, so he goes to sleep. I'm talking on the phone and I keep waking him up and picking him up and showing him something new he hasn't sniffed yet. And then I think someone comes too, but I can't remember. Then my alarm clock goes off. I see this pile of plastic sqaures, all different colors. There are four or five of them. This is the first time my alarm clock goes off, the first square is activated. It starts blinking. I press the snooze button. Each time my alarm clock goes off, another square is activated. When they all start blinking, I have to get up. In between each one, I dream more about my new kitty, who's getting agitated because I'm bothering him and he wants to be left alone. When all the squares are activated, I press the snooze button one more time. I think I might have turned the whole thing off, but whatever. I get up at 7:16. I get ready for school, which is particularly hard because my grandma is staying for a week and she sleeps in my room, so I have no acess to my stuff. I either move it out the night before, or my parents already moved it out to make room for her, so it's not so bad. First period I just told my dream and listened to other people's dreams, second period we finished a movie, then promotion practice. It was so hot!!! And I sit next to Vinny. Argh. In core we finished Arabian Nights. ttyl!

I'm a madwoman

Wow, I couldn't stop laughing when I wrote this secret encoded message. I don't know if KK will let me turn it in, but it's hilarious! See if you can figure out the coding, or at least see if you can figure it out grammatically. You see, it's really weird and it took me a while to figure out what I was saying. Here it is: (btw, it's for Mr. Knapp, an added paragraph at the end of our assignment we were assigned because we opted out of sex-ed)

We hope, personally, you find that this single assignment is a very slight subject, specifically produced, aimed, questioned at, for us now. We once were but two children of this, the class few constantly who will choose to not, instead to actively participate here, in this, your own class room, and while we were, were mentally punished ourselves for our wanting life to stop, save only our righteous sanity. A while before, those now who do, did not participate here, were never rewarded and with very many quiet afternoons bereft of your entertainment while we never were ever forced here to quickly work awhile on even a little, silly, stupid paper, not without many, any, several resources which for only our to use here. We must thank especially you most sincerely.

Haven't figured it out? Read every other word :) ttyl!

Kitty update: 368

Kitty Count!

354!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kitties!!!!!!!!! On my wall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you believe it?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!? Me neither!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I better count again. Why you never comment? :( Makes me sad. ttyl!

West of the Moonstone update

I finished chapter 11 of West of the Moonstone yesterday. I'm trying to slow the pace down, and I think I sucessfully drew out a small event to two and a half pages. That's still pretty fast-paced. I used to get bored writing West of the Moonstone, so I'd speed it up, but now I'm trying to focus on small details and slow it down. That's about it; I'm not going to put the whole chapter in here, so you can see it tomorrow. Darn, tomorrow is school! I don't want to go to school. I'm tired. I'm sick of it. What's the point? We've stopped learning. We're not doing anything. Oh great, we have the math final tomorrow. Great. Just great. Oh well. ttyl!

Super weird dream

Wow, I had the weirdest dream last night. Well, it's not the weirdest, but it's pretty freaky. The weirdest dream was my sister's, in which she dreamt a dream with Spanish subtitles. But back to my dream, I was an apprentice in ThunderClan. I think I was Fernpaw. Anyway, we all came back from the Sunhigh patrol and Firestar was all, "Now that we're all here, we can give Ashpaw his warrior name." But then we entered camp and saw that Ashpaw was dead. Brownstar of ShadowClan killed him. I don't know how we knew that. But I think ShadowClan was the only other Clan in the forest, so it must've been one of them. Oh yeah, it was because an apprentice named Greenpaw from ShadowClan was there. We were enemies. So then I left and went into ShadowClan territory. But it was really weird the way I got there. In order to get to ShadowClan's territory, I had to go through my first day of ninth grade. I was following Audrey around the whole time. And it's really weird how my schedule was. First and second period was MSA. Then acess. Then third and fourth were core, followed by fifth period, which I can't remember what it was. I don't think I ever got there, but then it was lunch after that. And then six and seven. But I only made it to acess, because then I met someone out on this big green field that was right outside the band room and started reading their book. I became a cat again, only this time, we were all tiny little dolls. I heard a story about this old warrior cat who's now an elder and how he was confronted by all of ShadowClan in this weird thing where each cat has a toothpick (remember the cats are only like, an inch big) that's on fire and they stand in a circle around their victim. Then one by one the cats would enter the circle and try to kill the other cat. The old warrior cat defeated everyone, except the leader. He told me how he did it, and then when I reached ShadowClan's territory, they did that same thing again, and I defeated all cats but two. When they died, they disappeared. The last two cats were Greenpaw and Brownstar. While Greenpaw and I were fighting, Brownstar ran away. I burned Greenpaw really badly with my toothpick, and she was dying. She said that was would've been made a warrior in two days. I wanted to tell her that my brother was going to have been a warrior if Brownstar had waited an hour before killing him. But I didn't want to insult Brownstar, or Greenpaw might summon up some strength and attack me. Then I wondered what was taking Greenpaw so long to die, when she finally did. I wondered if I would be made a warrior for killing every cat in ShadowClan but one, but I decided I probably wouldn't because the warrior code doesn't encourage killing. I wasn't too worried about that. I was worried that Firestar would be made because I left camp without telling anyone.

Freakishly weird dream, eh? I wonder what it means. Probably that I should finish up chapter 11 of West of the Moonstone and not kill everyone in any of the Clans. ttyl!

I win for class idiot

I feel totally shitty. I didn't make that list in order or anything! Just because someone's name was last in the list doesn't mean they're the lowest. What I meant about being in the crappy group just like not being in the group with your friends. A lot of my friends were in one group, and I couldn't be in that group, but that doesn't mean the other people in my group are crappy. What am I supposed to say? Sue me. Hate me. I'm sorry. I was effin' mad when I wrote that. I was crying. I was crying so much my nose started bleeding. And that's only happened twice before. But face it, that's how it is. Madeleine would obviously prefer to be in a group with KK and Stina rather than anyone else. Aren't we all wanna-be's? We all want to be popular, have a ton of friends, and be admired. Am I getting the wrong definition? "If I hang out with cool people, I'll be cool too!" Well I'm not exactly a cool people, but I hope I'm not that big of a biotch either. Maybe I am, and no one's told me. Do you want to be the first? Well, actually my sister is the first, so someone has told me. But I don't really care what she thinks anyway. Wow, I really messed up a friendship. Will you ever forgive me? Are you going to kill me? Please don't. I don't know what I can do to make it better. I'll change it. I'll erase your memory. I'll buy you chocolate. I don't think we're going to have anymore group projects in math. See, teachers? This is why I hate group projects! If you say "Work in partners" then we'll want to be a group of three!! Then what? You can't say "Well I want to be with them so go find yourself another partner" Well I think that's what I did. To you. And that's why I'm sorry. I'm a bad girl. You go be with the kid who never finds a partner. That's what I meant about the crappy group. It's not crappy because of the people in it, it's crappy because of the people not in it. It's crappy because you didn't get who you wanted to be in your group. You're not crappy. I'm a crappy friend. It's my fault. You know who I'm mad at? Me. I'm mad at myself. I listen to you. I try. You can't always get your way. You can't never get your way either. And I think that neither of us will get our way if we're still angry at each other. ttyl?

A new project

So we've got that movie skit thing in history. My group is doing life in the South. I was really sad that I couldn't work with KK. I just wanted to work with her. I didn't care who else was in our group; I would've been happy if I could work with KK. But, of course, everyone else had to make a big fuss about it too. KK got herself into a pickle because she had promised Stina and Wendy she'd work with them, which left room for one other person. Madeleine is the best person at being brutally honest, since she really doesn't care about people's feelings who are below her, so she asserted herself and got to work with KK. Then Wendy says wtf and goes to work with some other group. Wendy always does that self-sacrifice thing. She shouldn't have left. Because then we didn't have enough people and we were stuck with some John and Diego. I really didn't want to work with Elizabeth, but she's really okay and we usually get along alright. I guess is was inevitable since Madeleine can't stand Elizabeth so she stuck her with me. Who elected Madeleine group divider anyway? I thought Stina always said she was my best friend, why didn't she want to be with me? KK doesn't even care about her own popularity, and here she's practically tied with Madeleine. I feel so betrayed. KK didn't even try to be with me, she just let Madeleine decide everything. This is what happens when you get too many friends. But you know what, that's not my problem because I really only wanted to work with KK. I know I'm not saying anything about Kati because she's alright and I don't mind working with her. If Wendy hadn't been all, "Yeah, KK you promised I could work with you yesterday" then I could've worked with Stina, Madeleine, and KK, like we had planned when Ms. McDougall was talking. Now I know how Tasha feels whenever she gets left out of a group project. I'm so sorry, Tasha! And now we get stuck with John and Diego, so Madeleine goes and takes Diego, so I'm stuck with Kati, Elizabeth, and John. John's weird, he keeps looking at me. Like, he's talking to Elizabeth, so I'm listening too, and he keeps flicking his gaze over to me. It creeps me out! He's done it before, like in band, he's talking to Piera, and he keeps looking at me. Argh! Stop it! Speaking of band, Danny's really weird. There was this notecard on the floor, and we were all standing together, and I guess Danny picked it up or something. So anyway, he's walking back to his seat, and he like, hands it off to me. So I read it, and I'm like, "This is a notecard for a science test. Why did you give this to me?" He's so weird. Why does he always pick on Ally? She's a ditz. You can tell she likes the attention.

I guess this whole not-being-in-a-group-with-my-friends thing will turn out to be okay. You can't pick your group in real life; this will be practice. And then I'll grow up to be able to work with difficult people (though I don't think I'll have to anyway) while Stina continues to be shy around people she doesn't know, KK continues to be the most by-the-book goodie goodie, Madeleine continues to disregard me, and Kati continues to be obsessed with Marty and water polo.

How I think others view me and my friends:

Top (most popular, most listened to, most valued for their opinion "cool" people)
Piera
Madeleine
Middle (normal people, sometimes excluded from being in the "cool" group)
KK, Stina (here's where I thought I was)
Kati, Regan, Nina, Heidi, Wendy, Tasha, Me
Bottom (stinky people)
All Boys


This is not how I rate my friends. This is how those higher than me obviously rate us. I have gathered this info based on their group-picking skills. Just remember, I'm not God. In God's eyes, we are all equal. Lesson of the day: don't be a passive group member. If you want to be in a group with someone, assert yourself. Thank you, Madeleine, for being an excellent example. We all love you. *cough* :) You know, I don't know. Whatever.

I really have to start working on history now. And the English extra credit.

I'm not mad at anyone (except myself), I've vented all my anger on this subject. That's what a journal's for! If you're mad at me, I'm sorry, I'll try to make it better. Really. ttyl!

Three more months...

Whew! I finally managed to snag a few minutes on the computer. My sister Jenny kicked me off so she could look at her own blog site. She thinks reading some email from a guy going to Dartmouth has priority over me. I wouldn't be complaining if it weren't for the fact that SHE HAS HER OWN COMPUTER, SO WHY CAN'T SHE USE IT?!?!?!?!?!?! She claims it takes too long to start up. Well enny, if you turn it on, then you won't have to wait for it every time you want to go on, just leave it on all the time!!!!! *argh* "Emily, I'm just going to be on for a minute, don't you want to see how hot this guy is?" No!!! I don't care!!! Get on your own computer!!! I have to share this one with Mom and Dad anyway, I'm not sharing with you when you can just go on your own computer!!! And Jenny's "I'm just going on for a minute" turns out to be going on her blog for a minute, read her email for a minute, looking at pictures of her friends for just one more minute, reading her friends' blogs for a minute, and then going back to stare at some random guy-she's-just-met's picture for a few minutes. I go take a shower for twenty minutes, and she's still on the computer, even when she said one more minute before I went in the shower. At least she has a valid excuse this time: she's making a power point thing for school and her computer doesn't have power point. She spends half of her "Emily, I'm doing homework! I have to do this!" time just looking at pictures of bunnies online instead of pasting them into her power point project. "Emily, is this bunny cute? Should I put it in? Are it's ears too weird? What do you think about this font? Do you like it better when the title's up here or in the middle?" Shuttup and just finish already!!!! She's worked on this for over an hour and she still only has two slides done. No animation or anything, just getting all the pictures and the font just right.

Thank God she's going to be on the other side of the U.S. in three months. I only hope I can survive until then.

If I had time, I'd go on about how Jenny would do this to me when we were little, but she's starting to get suspicious and wondering why it's taking me so long to get dressed. ttyl!