Open up into In

Title is me not hearing a lyrics correctly to "Memory" from Cats by ALW. It bugs me how everyone thinks it's called "Memories."

Just sitting here, listening to theme songs. To me, theme songs means a song with a very clear message, or that evokes a strong emotion. Not theme songs as in the little ditty before a TV show.

Jenny and I went to the mall today. We were just looking, so we know what there will be when we go shopping after Christmas. There wasn't anything cute except the llama shoes. I love the llama shoes. They are made by Ked's and they are freaking $40, but they are green and have llamas on them and are fuzzy. They also have brown ones with owls and blue ones with seahorses, but those aren't fuzzy. They are just so expensive, you'd think they went down in price after all these months. Plus, it's winter so I don't need flats. And I have a very cute flats collection already. I don't need any more shoes. Marisa would be very jealous if I got them.

Jenny and I ran into Ben and Zac at the mall. They were sitting, taking abreak from Christmas shopping. They are very nice and comical and I wish I knew them better. Theatre/musical theatre kids are so charismatic. I wish I - well, no. I don't wish I were like them. I am glad that I am quiet and introspective. The problem with theatre kids is that they are so constantly around each other and in other people's problems that they never have time to look at themselves and find out who they are or think about what they really want. They are too busy being other characters and dealing with others that how can they find themselves? I guess this is where the saying "in order to find yourself, you have to try to be someone else" but I can't see how that works. I guess it"s because I've never tried it. It's not that I'm content with myself, but I wouldn't give up band and chamber music just for an experiment like that.

So back to Ben and Zac. I wish I knew them better. I wish I were friends with them. It's because they are so charismatic that people are just attracted to them. They think on their feet, they are animated, and they always have something funny to say. They're like Tim only they don't insult you so much. I used to wish I had Ben's email address so I could email him and say, "Hey we don't know each other very well but you're really nice and I wish we were better friends and since we have no classes together just email me back if you want to chat." but it would never work because he'd think, "Whoa, stalker!" and hate me forever.

I can't say I like any boys because I don't know any well enough. Sure, there's Garrett, who's really cute, but I've only talked to him once and it went like this,
Me: I didn't know you wore glasses
Garrett: Yeah, my eyes are screwed up...

Can't you feel the connection?

Listeneing to "What you Own" and thinking about Christina's party. Everything makes sense. "For once the shadows gave way to light" For once I got to talk to all the theatre/musical theatre kids "For once I didn't disengage" For once I held their gaze and flirted shamelessly like a saloon girl.

Jenny and I looked at the pictures on Netta's myspace. That party was so fun.

Have I said too much? I can't think of any more to say. I need to studyt for finals. ttyl!

PS Elphaba is right, as always. Love comes at much too high a cost!

Murder at the Deadwood Saloon

Christina's birthday party was last night. It was really really fun, but I lost my voice and I might be getting sick, so that put a damper on it. I was a saloon girl and got to flirt with all the boys, which was really fun because I normally only flirt with Drew because it's hard not to flirt with Drew because he's just that kind of person. But anyway, it was fun because they were all musical theatre or drama boys, and I don't know them that well so it wasn't really awkward. There was Ben, Zac, Charlie, Cameron, Corey, and Daniel. Hannah and Kati also played boys. So I got to flirt with everyone but Cameron and Corey because I barely talked to Corey at all, and Cameron was my employer.

It was fun. But there was one really awkward interaction with Charlie. So I know I was a saloon girl, and I dance with people, but am I a whore? So Charlie and I were talk/flirting and he was all, "I need some asistance," and I didn't really understand what he meant. So I was like, "How so?" and he said, "You could start at the belt and work your way down," and that was pretty suggestive and I didn't know if I was supposed to agree or be offended or what. So I said something about money and he totally freaked out and said something like, "Okay, I'm going to have to back out of this one." so I don't know if he had meant something completely different, or maybe someone else came into the room and he had to talk to them as one of his objectives, or whatever. But then for the rest of the night neither of us mentioned it and just flirted shamelessly like it hadn't happened. Should I ask him about it? Will I ever talk to him again? We've only talked before once, at the blood drive, and that was only for a minute because he wanted to talk to his drama friends.

I didn't dance with many people because everyone just wanted to "talk business" and figure out the murder and accomplish his or her objectives.

It was a party. Everything I did meant nothing because it was acting. No regrets. Just fun memories.

I've been thinking; maybe the Mark in a Chorus Line is the same Mark in Rent. But that would make Mark in Rent like 33 years old, and I think he's supposed to be early twenties. Too bad. That would have been so cool.

I have to go. Happy holidays and ttyl!