Woyzeck saves the day and my cat

I had a really weird dream last night. I was in a grocery store and it was on Grant Avenue. They were selling kittens and puppies at the store. I looked at them and they were cute. Then I went to the refridgerated dairy products section, and they had smaller, runt kittens for sale in yogurt cups. There was one I really liked. She was a light orangish brown with a spot of yellow right above her nose. I can't remember her name. I believe it started with a C. So I bought her and took her outside because she needed to poop. I set her down, and she ran away! Into the street! I chased after her, and luckily neither of us was hit by a car. I chased her all around the square. People were trying to help, and one of them managed to get a leash on her. It was red. This is where it gets complicated. I'm standing outside the grocery store, there is Grant Ave. running across in front of me, and there is a street that runs perpendicular to that, which ends when it hits Grant. I am facing that street that ends. There is a young woman with long golden hair on the sidewalk stage left to the street I am facing. She is walking toward me with a chocolate lab on a red leash. Somehow, Chad Deverman as Woyzeck manages to grab the leash of my cat, but he's on rollerblades or something and can't stop, so he runs into the girl with the dog and everyone falls down. Chad is still holding on to my cat when I get there. He is lying flat on his back. I take the leash from him and kneel down and kiss him on the forehead. Then he's kind of confused, so my mind rewinds time to right before I kiss him. Instead of kissing him on the forehead, I remove his sunglasses and kiss him full on the lips. I surprised myself awake, and end of part I. Part II I can't remember as well, but Chad and Ryan were there and they were pixies or something weird. Ryan was acting as the Doctor and he kept yelling at Chad that he couldn't do certain things, but Woyzeck, in his craziness and also because he was trying to help other people out, kept proving him wrong. It was like we were in this house that was just a big indoor pool. Chad told Woyzeck that he couldn't go in the water because something bad would happen, I can't remember, it had something to do with the elements. He also told him he couldn't leave the house, becasue the air outside was full of fire, but since Chad was just out rescuing my cat, that wasn't true either. There was a fly flying around and it was, according to Ryan, a particularly malignant type of fly and that you couldn't touch, but Chad swatted it away and nothing bad happened. It was just really annoying. The house had all cream colored walls. I think at one point I was outside in my backyard. There wasn't much of a plot, other than Chad proving Ryan wrong about everything.

My dad is back from vacationing. It is annoying. He is annoying. I feel like I hold myself to higher standards than he does, and he disgusts me. It's like he's trying to make me fat and a couch potato. He was making lunch, and told me I could have one of the brownies he made previously. I'm like, "Um, not until AFTER lunch, thanks." and he keeps telling me about all these shows and crap on TV, and I'm like, "I haven't watched TV in almost two months. No thanks." And he always thinks I'm in a bad mood. News flash, father! Your second daughter is a quiet person, not a goth. Sorry I'm not the loud inyourface princess my older sister is.

Creo que reggaeton es muy interesante. Me gusta mucho. Tambien me gusta escribir en espanol. Puedo entender algas palabras en este cancion. Estoy contenta sobre eso.

That's it. ttyl!

Bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki

I am disgusted with my classmates. At least twenty of the kids in my history class supported the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. How can anyone condemn someone to death, let alone 200,000 innocent people you don't even know? What if one of them had grown up to find a cure for cancer? Now you're condemning millions more people to death. And the bombing fucking didn't even end the war. The Japanese military generals weren't going to surrender. They didn't care about civilian lives. The only reason Japan surrendered is that Emperor Hirohito was afraid for his own life, and he persuaded the military generals to surrender. Not because of the fucking bombings. Those 200,000 people fucking died for no reason. Those 200,000 innocent civilian people who had hopes and dreams in their heads who suffered and learned and cried and laughed either were suddenly wiped off the face of the earth, or forced to die a slow and painful death from radiation in a destructed city with no resources. Sure, Japan was horrible and barbaric in war strategies and especially with the treatment of POWs, but does that excuse the Allies killing over 200,000 innocent civilians? I thought my classmates were more mature than "An eye for an eye." Besides, an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. If someone hits you and you hit them back and knock a tooth out, are you justified? Should you have hit them less hard? Should you have blocked their attacks and tried to work it out? I say, if it's too late to talk things out, then yes please defend yourself, but only defend yourself, and knocking someone's tooth out is not defending yourself. Even Madeleine and Christina. How can I befriend and respect two people who wish death upon someone else? It makes me sick.

I kept whispering to myself,

Let suffering be all my thoughts
Let suffering be my only duty
God, as your body was red and wounded
Let my heart be as such forever and ever

This whole situation reminds me of a great quote from the Pillowman. Katurian says, "I murdered two people who tortured a child for seven years. You murdered three children who hadn't tortured anybody for any years. There's a difference."

I ask you, is there a difference? Are any of these murders justified in any way?

I can think of so many arguments for why the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki were complete folly and I bet I can shoot down any argument for the other side. Sure, I can think of a lot of "benefits" that came about from the bombings. Our economy boosted, but it would have anyway if we had won the war without bombing Japan. Other countries learned not to mess with the US because we dared to use an a-bomb. I can shoot this down with the following hypothetical situation. Mercutio and Tybalt are fighting. Tybalt stabs Mercutio to show the Montegues that the Capulets are better. Surely this would make everyone fear the overzealous and over-violent Tybalt. But why trade lives for fear? And besides, what happens next? Romeo comes along and kills Tybalt. Who is Romeo? Iran? DPRK? Iraq? Afganistan? It was almost Russia. Who's going to come along and play the same dirty trick the US played on Japan back on the US? Only this time it will be worse because Romeo already knows the power of Tybalt, so he will have to fight even harder and dirtier. The US bombing Japan instilled not only fear, but hatred and contempt in developing countries. The US could have earned respect and awe, and then Romeo would have learned to accept Tybalt and not kill him. See how it works? You can't argue with Shakespeare.

All this aside, it is still a war crime to kill innocent civilians for what the military is doing. No matter what anyone says, it is a crime against humanity. Supporting the death of 200,000 innocent civilians is also a crime against humanity.

This really happened. A man had an affair with a woman out of wedlock. He was caught and convicted. Do you know how they punished him? His sister was raped. Fucked, really. Fornication with consent of the king. In this case, it was more like with consent of the military dictator, but really. Can you support this innocent girl being raped? After all, her brother fucked someone else illegally. It's the brother's fault, he should be punished, not her. How can you support the death of 200,000 innocent civilians who loved and laughed and struggled when it was really the military's fault? How can you support the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki but not this incident when they are so clearly in principle the same idea? How hypocritical can you be?

There is a terrorist somewhere out there whose greatest wish is the death of all Americans because of what Bush has done in Iraq. If he gets together a big enough group and kills every American, is he justified? He will kill you because of what a US soldier did to his brother. Tortured and dehumanized him. He blames it on you. He will track you down and kill you because you are American and one day surely you will go to Iraq and torture him unless he kills you first. Is he justified? How is this incident any different than the Allies bombing Japan? Sure, you know, now everyone's learned not to mess with him, and his economy is doing great, but just you wait, Romeo will come along one day and destroy everything that terrorist has built. Of course, the original terrorist is long since dead, but Romeo will take it out on his descendants, and it will become a never-ending cycle of death and revenge. And it will never be justified.

ttyl

Brookie Brigade

I logged into Jenny's facebook account and looked at Ben's photo archive. It was funny. Today at lunch he was filming a spanish music video and I was an extra. He was a spanish pop singer. I was a fan in the audience. It was fun.

Yes. I have reached the lowest of the low in my life. I'm jealous of a little nine year old girl. Yes. I admit it. I can't believe it, but it's true. Didn't think it was possible, but it's happened. Mr. Sinaiko loves his daughter. They sat next to me at the Visit. I'm jealous of Maya. She has a normal, trusting, loving relationship with her father. And it's Sinny. I wanted to sit next to him because it was fun listening to what he thought about the super soiree and I thought it would be the same, but he was only paying attention to his daughter, and I completely understand that. It's possible to understand something and still be hurt by it. Is it wrong that I value and respect his opinions and wanted to share his thoughts on the play? I get that he was there as a parent with a child, not as a teacher, and he has to juggle multiple people vying for his attention constantly at school and he was just trying to be with his daughter.

If I become famous, my biography will be very interesting. ttyl!

Beneath this tree...

Listening to Little bird, little bird from Man of La Mancha. Great musical.

I tried talking to Sinny about the connections between Man of La Mancha and Woyzeck. Quixote goes on this impossible dream saying that he will make the world a better place by doing all thiese crazy things. Woyzeck gets pushed into doing a lot of these things by the doctor and the captain, but he is on the opposite spectrum than Quixote.

To dream ... the impossible dream ...
To fight ... the unbeatable foe ...
To bear ... with unbearable sorrow ...
To run ... where the brave dare not go ...
To right ... the unrightable wrong ...
To love ... pure and chaste from afar ...
To try ... when your arms are too weary ...
To reach ... the unreachable star ...

This is my quest, to follow that star ...
No matter how hopeless, no matter how far ...
To fight for the right, without question or pause ...
To be willing to march into Hell, for a Heavenly cause ...

And I know if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest,
That my heart will lie will lie peaceful and calm,
when I'm laid to my rest ...
And the world will be better for this:
That one man, scorned and covered with scars,
Still strove, with his last ounce of courage,
To reach ... the unreachable star

That's the Impossible Dream from Man of La Mancha. So Woyzeck also does a lot of these things. He fights the unbeatable foe: poverty. But he loses. His mother accepted that all she would ever do is suffer, but Woyzeck can't. He has to bear all the dehumanizeing experiments the doctor puts him through, and the things the captain does to him while he's shaving him. The doctor and the captain put him through all these dreadful experiments and phychological beatings just to see where he'll wind up. That's going where the brave dare not go. Tests on people are this. Assuming falsely that the doctor and captain are brave, they are putting Woyzeck all these things that they dare not do themselves, but want to know the outcome. Woyzeck is trying to right himself by living normally, but he is too oppressed and his life is controlled by other people. He doesn't love pure and chaste from afar obviously. The all-pea diet is slightly responsible for some of his madness.

It's hard to tell is Woyzeck is the normal one and everyone else is crazy, or if he's crazy and everyone else is normal. It's expressionist, so everyone else is portrayed only as it appears to Woyzeck, so if he thinks they are crazy, they will act crazy.

I'm trying to get hold of Stina so she can tell Sam to say "She had the most beautiful Aberratio" or something in his welcome speech during The Visit. Mr. Sinaiko will be there, and it's from Woyzeck, so he'll get a kick out of it. The doctor diagnoses Woyzeck with an aberratio mentalis partialis. But if he said something like, "My doctor said I have an aberratio" that would probably be enough. And the audience might still think it's funny. Maybe if he just said "Aberratio mentalis partialis" because the audience would think it's funny that he's spouting false medical terms, and Sinny would get it. I can't figure what an aberratio is. It's either Latin or German. Aberratio mentalis partialis is made up by Buchner, but Aberratio ictus is like a German literary term. It's frustrating.

I have to do my homework. ttyl!