Sunday, August 21

Venting frustration

I usually side with my Dad on issues that concern Jenny, but this time, I disagree. He's so immature. He doesn't want to help Jenny pick out a coat for some reason or another. Maybe it's because she didn't go to the Farmer's Market with him this morning. Too bad she was still sleeping when he left! It couldn't have been helped. So Dad's refusal sets Jenny off and acuses him off not contributing to her going to college. That makes Dad even more angry, and makes Mom upset, who's listening from my bedroom with me. So Mom gets mad at Jenny and Dad is mad at Jenny. Mom says she's not going to R.E.I. with Jenny either unless she apologizes to Dad. Jenny does that and Dad continues to blow up at her, like he's rubbing her face in it even after she's broken down and taken back her words. We all know her apology wasn't sincere, but that's beside the point. Dad should be more forgiving. He's so immature! Isn't the parent supposed to be the one to always be available to kiss-and-make-up? No, he's too immature for that. He's such a drama queen. What do you want Jenny to do about it? He's going on about how he's tried to help with her getting ready for college so much and Jenny doesn't appreciate him! Jenny's trying to apologize here! He should forgive her for all that he's saying! Not spur her on and anger her further and force her to defend herself! The reason why they don't get along is because they're exactly like each other! They never drop the subject, they ramble on about grievances and repeat themselves over and over. They always keep grudges. They always have to have the last word. They always have to have their way. They always think they're right. They don'y follow their own rules. They're messy. They're annoying. They bother me too much. They touch me too much. Maybe I'm autistic. Maybe I'm like a cat and only can have a bond between one other person. I openly favor my mom. I don't know why. But this isn't supposed to be about me. And Dad wonders how Jenny turned out so badly, she's a mirror image of himself! And just because I want to be alone in my free time doesn't mean I'm making bad choices. Dad thinks he knows everything. If I want to talk to him, I will. If I want food, I'll ask for it. Don't offer it to me. Don't touch me. Don't barge in on me. Don't read what I'm typing. I always minimize what I'm doing on the computer when someone else is in the room. Don't try to make small talk when I'm reading. Don't offer to go on a hike with me everyday. I don't want to take the ferry anywhere either. I don't want to go to any museums. I don't want to talk about how my day was. I don't even tell mom that. Dad is so annoying. Mom can't see any of this because she loves him. It's practically the only topic Jenny and I can connect on, beside music and Gerard Butler. And yes, I have a problem too. It's not all Dad's fault. Just leave me alone, though! This morning he was like, "Are you ready to go?" And I'm like, "No, I'm not going anywhere." So then he gets all mad and leaves. I don't know where he went until Mom wakes up and tells me where he went. And another thing. He openly complains about me to Mom when I'm sitting right there! Does he really think I'm that absorbed in my book? Dad actually thinks that if he keeps asking me to do stuff with him, I'll cave in and agree to something. No. That only worked once. I can handle the silent treatment from him. I don't need anything from him. He thinks he knows everything, the way authors write about topics they don't know anything about. He never remembers anything, except grudges. And both Mom and Dad get Jenny and I mixed up. Dad remembers doing things with me he actaully did with Jenny, and Mom calls me Jenny and Jenny Emily. It's very annoying. And they don't even notice! I notice when I say Oreo instead of Dini. And I correct myself. And apologize. They don't. Whatever. I need to stop dwelling on this. I've exhausted the topic. I need to go in a bike ride. ttyl!

Wednesday, August 17

Another dream

I had a dream that we were writing our essays in Ms. McDougal's class and I was sitting next to KK on the computer and she was worried she wouldn't finish in time because she had so much information. Then someone brought cupcakes because I think it was the last day of school and they were yummy. Then we had a sub the last day of school and everyone was in our room and we weren't working on our essays because they were due Tuesday, so I guess it wasn't really the last day of school. But it was Friday. Ok. So we were all sitting on desks and Madeleine and Piera and Tasha and Stina were all there, along with some other seventh graders who I don't know. And Piera was talking about how she got braces in 4th grade and she's sad because she's going to have them throughout high school and she doesn't want to look like a freak in her graduation picture with them on. So I was like, "Well, ask your orthodontist if you can get Invisaline for the last week of high school so you don't look bad in your graduation pictures." But dude, that would be so expensive. Then I was thinking about other solutions, and the only other one I came up with is to photoshop out her braces before the picture's printed. So it wasn't a very exciting dream. But nothing much else has happened that I can write about instead. Besides, keeping a dream log is fun. Because I always forget my dreams, but then when I read them here, I can still remember them and it's cool. But I wish Erik was in this dream. But you never dream about things you thought about right before you go to sleep. Which sucks. And that's why I dreamt about the essay because I haven't been working on it very much, and Piera, because I haven't seen her all summer. And I don't know why about braces. I don't think Piera has braces. And I'm not worried about my braces or anything. Hmmm. Oh well. I'm hungry. ttyl!

Tuesday, August 16

I am officially obsessed

Ok I've now had two dreams about Phantom of the Opera. I already recorded the first one. This one was really weird. Ok. In my dream I'm still at Balboa Island, but staying in a different house. The only other people staying there are Jenny, my mom, one of my aunts, and KK's mom (kind of random, but that's how it was). So my mom's like, "Jenny go bring $22 to Erik." My mom wanted to give him money because he lived on Balboa Island too, but he couldn't get a job (because of his deformity and he might've been a little mentally retarded but you know Erik's a genius so I'm a bit confused on that matter) and his dad couldn't bring in enough money, since he was a fisherman or something. So Jenny went to do that. When she got back, she told me something like this, "Erik and Christine made out, but then Christine left to go to the Opera house." So I was all, "I want to meet Erik." So the next day, Jenny brought money and I brought like, a cup of water or something. Jenny was all, "Erik this is Emily." I was very surprised because Erik was like, six and a half feet tall. He had a limp, he kind of stooped a little, and the right side of his face was a little misshapen. And I guess he was a very touchy-feely kind of guy, because when he shook my hand, he gripped it very hard and like, caressed it and ran his hands all over it (I'm guessing this was to memorize how it felt, maybe he couldn't see very well and he relied on this). But when he did that, I got twisted in a very awkward position and it wasn't very comfortable and I wanted my hand back because my pants were very low (not like off my butt or anything) and I wanted to pull them up. Then he let go and hugged me, and I was really surprised because he squeezed me very hard and I couldn't breathe (and he squashed me in a very tender spot and it hurt). So then he stopped and we went into the kitchen to chat and I was wondering why no one thought it odd that he had done that, and why he didn't do it to anyone else. I came to the conclusion that he did that when he met new people. So then we left, and Erik and I were friends (I think, since he had no one else to talk to).

The next day, I really wanted to go see Erik again because I love him (or rather, I only like had a crush on him in my dream and wanted to be better friends with him since he was availible because Christine left and my sister left too, forgot to add that in, to go to college) so I had gone the whole day thinking about him. That day my mom, aunt, and I had gone shopping, and there were some kitties on the road and I befriended them and it was fun but I wanted to give them a home but we couldn't. Then it was like, 8:45 pm. So I went online to phantomoftheopera.com and opened up a new chat forum just so I could talk to him because that was the only way I could think of. He said he was going to kill himself at 9:00. I totally freaked out and said I was coming over and the other people in the chat forum were just like, "Wow, your conversation is very interesting!" and I wondered what they would think if they knew Erik was in the chat forum. So then I was worried the chat forum would get shut down because it was a thread off of Maze of Mirrors which is where you post funny chat forums, but this wasn't very funny, and I was running out of time to get to Erik's to stop him from killing himself. So I grabbed a cup of water or something and told my mom I had to go to Erik's to give him this and I went outside and ran to Marine Ave. which is where Erik lived. Someone came with me, but I can't remember who. So we had a hard time finding his house, but then we did and I went in and saw Erik and gave him the water or whatever it was (maybe it was beer, I can't remember) (I don't know how old Erik was in my dream. When he hugged me, he felt like an adult, but he had a very childish personality) and was kind of hoping he'd do that handshake/hug thing because I love him and I wanted to make physical contact with him again. So then we went down to some room and played a video game to take his mind off killing himself. I was really bad at the game, so he won. I think someone else played with us, but I can't quite remember. Then Erik went to bed and I was kind of depressed I didn't get to hug him again or anything, even though he totally squashed me and I couldn't breathe and all that. Just to be near him again!!! *swoon* So the house Erik lived in was a very particular house, it's floor plan is much like KK's house's floorplan only it's not and this house has been in my dreams before and since I was the last one awake in the house and I was going home, I had to turn on the security system, which is very complicated. So I did that (I'm not going to describe the monotony of it) and left. And then I woke up. And I was really sad I couldn't finish the dream. Because I wanted to be with Erik. And make out with him too. Because I love him!!! *swoon*

Well that's my dream. As you can see, I am officially obsessed with Erik. ttyl!

Sunday, August 7

Balboa Island

Three nights ago I had a really weird but awesome dream. I was Emmy Rossum and we were filming Phantom of the Opera. But it was really cool because when we weren't filming, our lives were like the book because Gerard Butler thought I loved him when I was really afraid of him and I wanted Raoul to save me (he never did). So between takes Gerry would hug me and bring me over to a rocking chair and read a love poem to me and ask that I read one to him and I was scared but I had to because I didn't want to make him sad. Gerry didn't have a mask or anything, he looked like what he normally looks like (like on the behind the scenes on the DVD) except he wore all black and had on his weird pants and a cape and stuff.

Then I finall got away from him and my dream changed. Now my mom and I were at San Jose but it wasn't really like SJMS because it was a dream. I had just got back from Caz and I was going to another camp at San Jose. In dream San Jose, there are three band rooms; one for sixth graders (kind of a dorm for them), one normal one, and a performance hall that was like the gym, only newer and cleaner. So we went to the gym and my neighbor Chris, who I guess was running the camp, was setting up cots for us and assigning each of us one of them. I picked a cot I liked and wanted to be assigned that one, but he wouldn't let me. Then I heard the band striking up in the other band room. I tried getting in the sixth grader room for some reason, but the door was only a foot high and I couldn't get in. Miraculously, I could get in the normal band room, and that was where the band was, so I went and got a stand and sat down in the first chair spot (I guess Piera wasn't doing the camp so I was first) Everyone else were sixth graders, except they were playing Marriage of Figaro and Overture to Nabucco. I knew both of the pieces so I was excited and was talking a lot, but Ms. Zigas didn't get mad so I was happy for being let off the hook. And then I woke up.

That was my favorite dream, and the only one I can really remember.

Other highlights of my vacation:

Getting a Fender T-shirt
Petting lots of kitties, including Buckwheat, Badu, and Gidget
Bumper Cars with Meaghan, we drove around in a circle when no one was trying to hit us
Kayaking and being faster than everyone else
Reading a million books
Eating a frozen banana dipped in chocolate and rolled in crushed Oreo's with my mom
Playing Tripoley with Jenny and Meaghan and winning the most money (we played with pennies)
Playing FreeCell with my Grandma and Aunt Redelle
Doing the crossword with my dad and have everyone else in the living room shout out answers
Going on walks around the island in search of kitties to pet
Meeting crazy old ladies and talking about cats with them

So now you have a sense of what I did over vacation. ttyl!